(On Facebook, that is…)

150.  That’s Dunbar’s Number.  It is the theoretical maximum number of stable relationships a person can have at once (on average).  This includes your significant other, all your family, friends, and close coworkers.  Then why do we see people on Facebook with other 1,000 friends these days?  Because when Facebook originated, they truly were all friends.  They were your classmates, your hall-mates, and others at your university.  But now, with anyone able to create an account, I’m friends with my Grandma, elementary school acquaintances I haven’t seen in years, and even a teacher or two.

Redefine

Most of these people aren’t truly friends.  Merely people you knew once, met a couple times, or see every once in a while.  The remedy?  Redefine Facebook’s definition of “friend” by using lists.  Whenever someone friend-requests me or I add someone, I put them into one of three buckets: close friend, acquaintance , or limited.  Then, using Facebook’s custom privacy settings, I set what each bucket has access to:

  • Close Friend: these are the people I am actually close with.  Only 144 people are on this list, fitting just under Dunbar’s number.  They have access to all my photos, posts, and info.
  • Acquaintance: I occasionally see them, but definitely not regularly.  They have access to most things except photos.
  • Limited: either I haven’t spoken to them in a long time or would prefer they don’t see the ridiculous things my friends and I say/do.  Parents, bosses, etc land here.  Can’t see the wall, photos, or much info.  Sorry.

Why?

Because this isn’t MySpace.  I want to be able to share stuff with my friends without having to always censor myself.  Let’s try to get back to the original definition of “friend.”